QfGlorification: "Boris" *grin*

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QfGlorification: "Boris" *grin*

Postby Rath Darkblade » Wed Nov 05, 2014 5:39 am

I think this character is one whom no-one has ever paid much attention to - Boris is the one who makes the Spielburg Thieves' Guild work, their 'accountant' and fence as well as the go-to person for thief tools. But no one has ever written a story (not even a short one), much less a song about him, and this is my tribute to him.

Extra trivia bit: 'Boris' is the only name that's applied to more than one character in the entire QfG anthology - this Boris is in QfG1, but in QfG4 we meet Boris Stovich, who has rather more personality. ;) Also, QfG1 is unique for featuring a thieves' guild that has a person whose sole purpose is to be an 'accountant'. *BWG*

*looks around* Oh - and by the way, I know there aren't quite that many choruses in the original song. I chose to write an extra one, just for fun, because I found lots of rhymes for 'Boris'. So I'm just showing off. *G*

Super-Spielburg Thieves' Guild Person in Accounts Called Boris
(parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from "Mary Poppins")

Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris
Well, I'll bet he's glad his parents didn't call him Doris
Or (quite hypothetic'lly) a name just like "Deloris"
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris!

Hey!

Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris
We'll walk up and fence our goods - he really can't ignore us
Talk to him about accounting - he could really bore us
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris

Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
He sits behind a window (barred)
behind an iron door,
Just fence your goods (it isn't hard) -
he knows accounting lore.
He knows his payroll (what relief!)
and balance sheets as well;
He won't drink beer (unlike the Chief) -
and so he doesn't smell!

He's super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris
He is not a minotaur, he really could not gore us
If he's in the forest, he is not a purple saurus
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris

Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
Steal diddle diddle diddle, count diddle ay
He sends out purchase orders,
And receivables he knows.
And thieves who flee his warders -
Well, their debt just grows and grows.
He's got all kinds of thieving tools
to sell if you're a thief -
he follows all accounting rules,
and likes a bit of beef!

He's super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris
Super-Spielburg thieves' guild person in accounts called Boris

[fade]
Rath Darkblade
The Cute One
 
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