LA COSTA LOTTA SPA
Get the hairweave kit and the vicegrips. Then go to your Inventory and open the hairweave kit. Use the vicegrips on the needle. Use bent needle on the handcuffs. Click on glass door and "break" it.
Go to your cabin (#0). Grab the spray can and the toilet paper. Click on the Dildo behind the cot. Go to the Proud Lil' Seamen Lounge. After listening to the Purser, click on the Dildo hiding behind the Barrels and Chests. Exit out the door under the stage. Click on the Dildo by the Thin Topiary. Go Left to the Promenade Deck. Click on the Dildo under the Topiary Beaver's tail. Open the Fire Hose Case and take the Fire Hose. Go left again to the Fo'c's'le. Click on the Dildo under the Topiary Sheep. Take the Topiary Sheep. Somewhere on these three screens (Fo'c's'le, Promenade Deck, Aft Deck) you will find Peggy. Talk to her about her Peg Leg. Now go to the Kitchen. Click on the Dildo by the sausages. Take the Pot, Salt, and the Wrapped Fish. Look at Fifi, the Fishnet, and the Fish Heads. Operate the Caviarmaster 2000. Go through the door. Click on the Dildo in the Salad. Eat the Bean Dip and fart and then eat it three more times. Look at the Meat Carver. Click on the Dildo hiding among the Mystery Meat. Talk to Wang until he leaves and then take the Carving Knife and the Heat Lamp Bulb. Go to Das Grande Atriumo. Click on the Dildo hiding behind the rightmost column. Talk to Peter the Purser about everything then make six prank calls on the White Courtesy Phone. Go back to Das Grande Atriumo and click on the Dildo framing the Library Door. Go to the Library. Click on the Dildo next to the Grandfather Clock. You need to read two books. One is blue with three yellow dots on the spine, the other is green with writing on the spine. To read these you must take them. Look at the Stuffed Beaver. To activate the 1st Egg "milk" the Stuffed Beaver. Go right and talk to Victorian about everything. Ask Victorian about "gibberish". She will turn her back and you can take the Mucilage. Go back to Das Grande Atriumo. Click on the Dildo hiding on the top floor between the two left Columns. Now go to El Replicant Sculpture Garden and Click on the Dildo by David's Foot. Look at Venus's Foot. Take the Big Toe o' Venus. Enter the Pair- o-Dice Casino. Click on the Dildo sitting at one of the Cards Tables. Fart while standing near the crowd at the Craps Table. Play Craps. Go to the Employees Only Room. Look at the Door Latch and "push" the Door open. Click on the Dildo by the Chair. Get the Jumper Wire and the KZ Sexual Lubricant. Read the Bulletin Board 7 times. Try to open the second Locker from the left on the bottom. Go to the Bowling Competition and click on the Dildo behind the Hippo. Use the TMT Scorecard on the Walrus and take the Bowling Ball. Bowl. Go to the Horseshoes Competition and click on the Dildo by the other Horseshoe Spike. Use the TMT Scorecard on the Card Slot. Play and take the Card Slot. Go right and talk to the Juggs about everything. Now go to the Sexual Prowess Competition. Press the Important Button and click on the Dildo in the rightmost booth. Use the TMT Scorecard on the CyberCard 2000. Go to the Best Dressed Competition. Click on the Dildo next to the CyberFashion 2000 Console. Unzip the Mannequin's Fly. Go to the Clothing Optional Pool. Click on the Dildo behind the plant on the left hand side. Walk left. Talk to Drew about everything, especially book and Fokker. Take the Magazine to read it.
Go to the Purser's Desk and ask about Cabin Boy. Go back to the Library and talk to Victorian about "gibberish." When she turns away take the book "Prudish and Proud". Go to the Inventory remove the Jacket from the "Prudish and Proud" book. Use the "Prudish and Proud" Jacket on the "Erotic Adventures of Hercules". Also read the Magazine Page. Leave the Inventory and talk to her about "gibberish" again. Use the "Erotic" Book in the "Prudish" Jacket on the Pile of books while she's turned around. Leave and go to the Proud Lil' Seamen Lounge. Go south to the Bar. Talk to Johnson. Click on the Dildo inside and on left of the bar. Talk to Johnson about Lime Juice and Gigantic Erection. When Johnson leaves to fix the Gigantic Erection leave that screen and enter the door on the left. Order another Gigantic Erection and enter the room. Click on the Dildo by the bales of hay. Use the Silicone Lubricant on the Spray Deodorant. Push the Button at the back of the room. Exit the room. Look at the Lighting Truss. Take the Spotlight Bulb. Use the Heat Lamp Bulb in the Empty Socket. Order another Gigantic Erection, enter the Dressing Room and push the button again. Go to the Library. Click on the Dildo by the bananas. Look at Vicki's Computer. To activate the 2nd Egg click on the man on the left in Vicki's computer while holding down the CONTROL key. Ask her about The Weather. When you get back to your room click on the Dildo behind the Toilet. Use the Fire Hose on the Water Pipe. Shit and Whiz in the Toilet, to use toilet paper, click it on Larry. Flush toilet. Go to the Proud Lil' Seamen Lounge to watch the show. Back in your Cabin, click on the Dildo under the Pipes.
Go to the Proud Lil' Seamen Lounge. Take the Chaselights. Walk left and take the Remote Control. Active the 3rd Egg by "feel"ing the Mixer. Go and talk to Peggy. Ask her about Cabin Boy, Break Room, Locker, and "Combination". Go to the Employees Only Room. Open the second Locker from the left on the bottom row using the combination 38-24-36 and walk left. Talk to Xqwzts about Photographs, How?, and Buy Pictures. Go talk to Peggy. Ask about Xqwzts. Also ask about Xqwzts's Hobby, Needs, and Wants. Go talk to Peter the Purser. Ask him about Passport and Photo ID. Go to the Inventory and use the Mucilage on the Dirty Pictures, then use the Sticky Photograph on the Cabin Keycard. Also turn on the Remote Control. Leave the Inventory and use the Photo ID on Peter the Purser. Go to El Replicant Sculpture Garden. Climb to the top on the Scaffold. Take the Screwdriver. Use the Chase Lights on the Spike and use the Remote Control on the Spike. Go back to the Employees Only Room and open the Locker. Use the Passport on Xqwzts. Take the Custodial Key. Use the Screwdriver on the Air Vent. Find a place where the cursor is small. Click there and the cursor will become big. Click again and undress. After meeting the Mysterious Woman in Black, take her Handkerchief. Go to the Forward Hold. Use the Key in the Handle. Click on the Dildo by the suitcases on the left. Take the Suitcase. Go to the Casino. Go to your Inventory and look at the Toilet Paper, "smell" the Handkerchief, and use the Toilet Paper on the Dice. Play Craps. When you get the dice, use the Shaved Dice instead. When you win you will meet Dewmi Moore and go back to her room. Now its up to you to win Strip Liar's Dice. Press CONTROL-C to see her dice, SAVE after each win and RESTORE after each loss. When you wake up from your psychedelic trip, go back to her room (Cabin #510) and get the Orgasmic Powder. Go to the Clothing Optional Pool. Click on the Dildo behind the plant on the right. Go left. Talk to Drew. "Push" the Pesky Branch to see the 4th Egg. Choose "Fokker" to see the rest of the 3rd Egg. Now use the Orgasmic Powder on Drew's Drink and try to "drink" it. This will activate the 5th Egg. Ask about suitcase and you will see the rest of this egg.
Go to The Heaving Ho'. Exit through the door in the back. Look at the Chair where Annette was sitting before. Take the Folded Paper. Go to the Inventory and look at the Life Insurance Policy. Exit the Inventory and go to the Aft Hold. Use the Key in the Handle. Open the Hopper Door. Use the Deodorant Spray on the open Hopper Door. Go to the Lower Aft Hold. Use the Key on the Handle. Use the Pot on a Beaver. Go to the Purser's Desk and ask about Annette Boning. Call Annette Boning twice then ask Peter about My Account. While he is gone, look at his phone. Push the LND Button to learn Annette's room number. Go to the Owner's Suite. Open the Glass Door. Smell the Big Cloth-Covered Thing. Undress. Back in your room, Flush the Toilet. Take the Mold in the Shower. Now go to Captain Queeg's Ballroom. Go through the door and click on the Dildo peeking out of the Curtains. To see the 6th Egg, "Dream." Talk to the Beautiful Woman. Ask her about everything and "Leisure Suit". Go back to the Ballroom. Click on the Dildo near the base of the Sculpture on the right side. Go to the Bridge. Go through the door and click on the Dildo by the Beer Cans. Leave. Use the Screwdriver on the Electrical Junction Box. Use the Jumper Wire on one of the Fuses. Leave and climb the ladder. When the Sail comes up look at it. Use the Carving Knife on the Sail to get the Polyester Cloth. When you get free go to Captain Queeg's Ballroom. Enter the door and click on the Dildo by the front table. Talk to Jamie Lee and use the Polyester Cloth on her. After making it back to your room, go back to the Ballroom. Read the Note on the door and open the Stage Door. Go back to the Ballroom and read the new Note. Go to the Owner's Suite and "unzip" the Plastic Bulge on the third Statue from the left to activate the 7th Egg. Push the Button to see the rest. When Annette comes to the door use the Carving Knife on her. Push the button again and use the Life Insurance Policy on her. Go to the Kitchen. Use the Venezuelan Beaver Milk on the CyberCheese 2000. In the Inventory use the Kumquat on the Cheese. Look at the Snake on the floor. Go to the Cook-Off Competition. Use the Kumquat Quiche on Judge Julia.
Go back to the Cook-Off Competition. Go to the Inventory and use the Orgasmic Powder on the Kumquat Quiche. Use the Quiche de Larry on Judge Julia. Go to the Best Dressed Competition. Unzip the Mannequin's Fly. Go to the Bowling Competition. In the Inventory use the KZ Sexual Lubricant on the Handkerchief. Use the TMT Scorecard on the Walrus and use the Treated Handkerchief on the Bowling Ball. Bowl and you will win the Bowling Competition. Go to the Horseshoes Competition. Use the Remote Control on the Horseshoe Stake. Use the TMT Scorecard on the Card Slot and play. To get your TMT Scorecard, take the Card Slot. Go to the Library. Ask Vicki about sex and follow that line of questioning to Lovemaster 2000. You've won the Sexual Prowess Competition. Go to the Captain's Quarters. "Knock" on door. When you get cursor control back, go to the Proud Lil' Seamen Lounge. Robo-Bill has 75 jokes. Sit through them or keep leaving through door under stage and returning til you receive 5 points. Go to About Screen, click on the Dildo. Go to the Captain's Quarters and show her the Stock Certificate. Watch all the credits and you'll see the alternate ending.
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